Got Postcards From a Former Self Saying "Howya been?"

I have a weird love of writing things to myself. Letters, journals, blog posts, etc. I just love the idea of being able to look back on my life, whether I am laughing at myself, wishing I could tell myself what I know now, or looking at the things that have happened to me in a new way. Since I am in my hometown for Spring Break, I have the time to reread a lot of my writings and cringe at my awkwardness on paper.

Here are a few of the types of things I write to myself

Birthday letters- I love to make bets with myself on my future and see if they come true. It's also nice, when I am in a low place in life, to think about a future where things will improve (because I am an optimist and heart and also because I have a spring birthday, and everything is perfect in the spring).

Wills- It's super morbid, and I usually try to listen to happy music when I write it because it creeps me out, but I feel like it's necessary. You never know when you are going to be eating dirt sandwiches (Stephen King's words, not mine), and I would like to be prepared so that the few things I have won't just sit around in my room collecting dust.

Letters for when I am 46- When I was 16, I was talking to my dad about his life, and he said that it would have been interesting for him to remember what he wanted his life to be like by the time he was 46. Inspiration hit, and now, every so often I write myself a letter predicting what my 46 year old self will be like.

A "must read" books list- This list is so ridiculously extensive, and it keeps getting longer. For every book I cross off, I feel as though I add five more. This is especially true since I just discovered Write Bloody, a publishing company that puts out amazing works of poetry/short fiction/etc. ( I just put like eleven of their books on hold at the library).

This blog- As much as I am writing this for an audience, I also write this for myself to a certain extent. I like looking back at the things that I write in order to see how I can improve, and how I have grown, as a blogger and as a person.

You don't even have to be a Pulitzer Prize winning novelist in order to write things to yourself. It's awesome!

On Cleveland and Being a Fifth Wheel

Last weekend, Maddie, Derek, and I all went to Cleveland, Ohio to celebrate Derek's sister's birthday. I debated on going because my personality is a lot more outgoing than Maddie's, and I didn't want to outshine her again when we hung out with her family (I am weirdly talented when it comes to meeting people, and Maddie is more shy, so I am remembered more, which I didn't want because Derek is HER boyfriend and his family is HER boyfriend's family).

     And that was pretty much the only thing that decided whether or not I was going..

Ultimately, my love for Derek's sister (and the rest of his family)  won out, and I packed my bag for Cleveland.

(Me playing with the various wall-hook animals at Anthropologie)

 Unfortunately, Dan (Derek's best friend, and my ex) decided to have family plans that weekend (Dan and Derek are from the same town), so he was the one who drove us. Cue awkwardly loud soundtrack overridden with break up songs, and creepy I-want-that-girl-and-can't-seem-to-have-her-songs.

Lately, I have been super homesick (because of all of the application/life stress), and since I can't go home (it's long car ride away), Derek's house is the next best thing. His family is so real and welcoming, I instantly feel at home (especially since this is my second time going).

After Ashley's (Derek's sister's) birthday dinner at The Chocolate Bar, we all drove through the snow to go bowling. We (mainly Derek, his friend Joe, and I) ended up dancing in the bowling alley, and we had more fun than I ever thought anyone could have bowling. We went to a ton of different stores, including Anthropologie (my favorite fantasy store, because everything is so expensive).

As a random thought, I told Derek that we should go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (which, besides the amazing food, is one of the few things that Cleveland is known for). He took my suggestion seriously, and we were off to go view memorabilia from some of the most famous and influential musicians in history.

Jimi Hendrix's writng was definitely the quirkiest. ( I had to steal it from Google since there was no photography allowed).

I am a huge music fan, as most of you who read my  blog can probably deduce (since I put up music videos with practically every post), but a lot of the music I listen to is newer and more hipster-esque, so a lot of the smaller bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame were unfamiliar to me. I looked at a lot of the things in the museum from an artistic perspective. So many musicians are artists in the physical sense as well, and it really shows. A lot of the musicians really put huge amounts of time and effort into making everything around them beautiful, something that I really hope to emulate more in the future.
As amazing as everything else was, my favorite part of the exhibits had to be the writings. It was breathtaking to see some of my favorite songs as the artist made them, handwriting and all. I love handwriting.

From Left: Maddie, Derek, me (aka the midget of the group) Ashley, and her boyfriend Nick

Me and Maddie in front of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

 For the most part, I like to think that I owned being a fifth wheel this/last weekend, however, it became a little annoying in the end (not because I want a relationship, just because that is what happens when a single person is around heaps of couples for too long). However, it helped me to come to the realization that I definitely do not want another relationship in the future (I am sure that this line will haunt me later).

In case I wasn't sure about that, after yet another painfully awkward car ride home with Dan, I unpacked my backpack to find a SIX PAGE LETTER FROM HIM.

Oh dear.

He has this habit of writing these really weird letters in which he rambles, attempts to philosophize, and then repeats himself like repetition is going out of style. I have maybe six of them, and we only dated for a month. Terrible.

My friends and I gathered around to read  this monstrosity. It was so many different levels of awful and sad. He even ended it with "we are never ever getting back together" (yes, he quoted Taylor Swift), as though I wasn't the one who dumped him.

One-way ticket to singletown please..

Rock on.

The Obligatory Valentine's Day Post

     While everyone knows that Hallmark and making other singletons feel inferior is the reason for the season, I feel as though it must be acknowledged. Due to my currently single status and lack of romantic interaction, in order to entertain you guys, I will reflect back on my previous romantic interactions.

Here are some of the most "romantic" things that have happened to me (As you can see, I don't take very well to things that others consider romantic, one of the many reasons that I am single at present)...

     My first boyfriend, Alex, giving me his class ring for Christmas- The poor kid shows up to my door, Christmas morning, with a pair of mittens (that I still have somewhere due to the fact that they are warm and I live up north) and a ring box. In the box, obviously, was his class ring. That was the part where most girls would have freaked out. And freak out I did. In the bad sense. Because I was nowhere near ready for that. I ended up wearing it for the rest of our relationship (he has bony fingers), but hated almost every second of it. It was clunky and didn't really match anything. On the brightside, it made my older sister super jealous, to the point where my dad gave her his class ring to shut her up be nice (this picture isn't the actual ring, I gave that back after the break up).

(Me, in the middle, making class rings the must have fashion accessory...haha, not)

     My second boyfriend, my first love, Andy, did quite a few romantic things as well. After a particularly nasty break up (Me being the breakup-er) because I couldn't stand that he couldn't express his feelings, he came to my house at 6:30AM (which means that he had to leave by 6, since my house is a twentyish minute drive) to post an EIGHT PAGE LETTER to my windshield about our relationship and how he loved me. Crazy. We had paint, water gun, and sword fights (nerding out, sorry dudes). We swang on a ridiculous number of swings. We took quite a few sunset and night walks. He even bought me a pineapple, which is my favorite fruit ever. However, in my opinion, the most romantic thing that he ever did was for my birthday, when he gave me Fall Out Boy's new CD. It sounds stupid, but he actually asked my sister to ask me what I wanted, which took a lot of effort for him, because he was super shy and didn't like to speak up (the cause of many of our fall outs).

     Greg never had the misfortune of becoming became my boyfriend, due to various issues (i.e. he wanted to be in control, and I wanted to be in control, and he was a little Disney for my tastes). However, the kid was definitely a romantic. For one of our dates, he took us on a canoe trip. I. Love. Canoeing. He also packed a huge picnic lunch for us, complete with ice (to keep it cold) and forks. He even took  the fact that I am a vegetarian into account and packed us salads. This would have been super nice, except for the fact that during said canoe trip, we had a longish conversation about how I hate that everyone thinks that vegetarians like salads (I don't). The kid said nothing. Cue awkward moment an hour later where he whips out the salads for our "romantic lunch". Cue awkward moment where we never went on another date again (my choice).

     Dan. The boyfriend that lasted one month (although we are still super close), but had a knack for letter writing even though he was kinda bad at it, it's the thought that counts, and romantic gestures. Click on the link for more on that...

So, I guess I don't have a whole lot to complain about in the relationship department. In fact, I should probably be grateful for the multitude of nice guys that have made up my dating history.

Just when you start to doubt your total awesomeness, just think of all of the guys, girls, cats, etc. that make your life wonderful (regardless of whether or not you are dating them).

Happy Valentine's Day!

Other People's Love Letters

Since I always have small chunks of random time on my hands and because I am almost through with the last season of UK Skins on Netflix, I keep attempting to check books off of my reading list. When I read, I am very much a tunnel vision reader. I do not stop until my novel of choice is finished. It's an addiction. Because I am not in my hometown (where I have a ton of free time), I have started to read short story collections, poetry, and shorter novels instead of full out chunksters (aka those books that double as dumb bells). Since some of you like a preview of your future reads, and others are just too lazy/busy to haul yourselves to a library or bookstore, I have thrown in some letters throughout this post for your reading pleasure.

     Other People's Love Letters, my present book of choice, has a pretty self-explanatory title. There really isn't a whole lot of mystery, or anything that I can really explain to you, besides that it is, in fact, other people's love letters. But who doesn't want to read those? I cannot be the only one, this book has sold so so so many copies.

     I have always been a curious person, and Bill Shapiro (the author/compiler) is my new favorite person for helping me to satisfy this curiosity. Although last names and specific details (addresses and things) have been taken out, these letters are, for the most part, uncensored, and that is the beautiful thing about them. Plus, as someone who is newly single and figuring out how to continue being friends with Dan after breaking up with him without leading him on, it's nice to know that I am not the only one who has imperfect relationships. It's also fun to compare these to the love letters/texts/napkins/etc. that I have received.
    

It's definitely a fun book to have in your bag for when you're bored, or read with friends/your significant other (I read it with Dan, and we both enjoyed it, being love letter enthusiasts, as well as curious motherfuckers).

Happy Reading!