Being a Life Learner

I never fully realized the difference between someone who lives their life to learn and someone who just exists.

There is a difference folks. A vast one.

For example, I just completely blanked on the exact definition of the word 'vast'. Normally, I would have just used a dumber word that I already know the meaning of, like large. Not today. Today, I looked it up, refreshed my memory, and utilized that term. Rock on.

For the past few days, I have been reminding myself to be continually curious about the world, and to learn for the fun of it. And guess what, learning magically became fun again! I now know the history of Tootsie Rolls, why people are late, what Lorde's song "Royals" is actually about, songs by Cage the Elephant, and the basics of knitting. It's fantastic.

While a lot of this information may seem useless, it really made me think. How many things do I not know? How many of those things will I never know, and how will that affect my life? Ignorance breeds intolerance and such. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

Maybe not to this extent, but I would like to continue to keep an open (or at least as open as I can be) mind about life. Who knows what else is out there to learn?

Also, knitting is frustrating as all hell.

Blazer Challenge

I have been going through a 1/5 life crisis. I am 20 years old, but still feel extremely young for my age, especially as a resident advisor (RA), where many of my younger peers appear to be more mature than me. I am working on becoming a more "mature" individual in some aspects, which is weird as all hell.

As one of the parts of this maturity challenge, I decided that my style selections needed to be more adult-like (it took everything I have not to put that in air quotes), so I looked to one of my RA friends, Livia, for style advice. She always looks extremely professional and adult, no matter what the situation. I looked at her style, and thought about which parts of it made her appear especially serious. Then it hit me.

Blazers.

And just like that, the Blazer Challenge was born. Seven straight days of blazers. Livia even got on board and (temporarily) donated her blazer collection to my cause.

I give myself a C+ for this challenge. I tried to enjoy the blazers, but just ended up feeling constricted. Instead of changing my style to be more blazer-esque, I using some of my more drastic pieces to incorporate the blazers into my wardrobe.

After three days, I just couldn't do it anymore and ended up wear a super bohemian looking outfit, completely with fringe boots and head scarf. Even a few days later, my style is still younger looking and grungier than usual, like a style binge after fasting for a long time.

Maybe there is something to be said for immature after all, at least I would like to think so...

Attempting to Restart...

It has been quite a long time since I've posted on this motherfucker. Here's a run down of what has happened between my last post and now...

• Worked at my "dream" camp in Pennsylvania. It was actually hellish (lots of weird cultural differences and such), but I made some really great friends and visited New York City twice, which was amazing.

Sophie, Joel, and I at an Italian place in New York City

•  I was hired on as a Resident Advisor (RA)! Unlike my position this summer, being an RA has been phenomenal. My Co-Ra's are really great (even when we fight), and I love my residents to death.

  So that's what's new with me. I even included some RA pictures for your enjoyment. How about you, if you're all still there?I hope that your days are lovely!

My Co-Ras, Eli and Meric

Aaron and one of my residents, Chelsea, who brought me pumpkin coffee for my desk shift

  

Good Luck on Exams for Those of You Who are Taking Them!

Remember, even if you fail, James Blunt still thinks you're beautiful...

My Very Own MLIA (My Life is Average) Moment

For those of you who don't know, there is a website called My Life is Average where people submit short stories about 'average' things that have happened to them. For example:

Today, I went to Buffalo Wild Wings with some friends. We walked over to the jukebox and proceeded to put on "The Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats. As the song came on, while we were dancing, an employee comes up to us in a serious tone and asks who put the song on. My friend steps in front and says that he did it. The employee immeadeatly holds up his hand and gives my friend a Hi-5. New favorite resteraunt? I think so. MLIA 

Deep down, I always wished for my own MLIA moment. Yesterday, that wish was granted.

Today in Queer Lit class, my friend and I put N'Sync's Digital Getdown music video/song on the projector before our professor came to class. Some annoying kid turned it down and said that the song was stupid. Halfway through the song, our professor walks in and asks why there is an N'Sync song playing. We tell him that we are trying to relive the 90's. In response, he puts on Say My Name by Destiny's Child, turning the volume back up to the top. MLIA

And just because I could never truly believe some of these stories, here is photographic proof.

 

A while ago, my old roommate Lauren and I got into a huge fight and she ended up moving out of my room. I hadn't seen her since, which was kind of heartbreaking since she was one of my best friends.

 A week ago, she contacted me and asked me to hang out. I had some qualms about it, but decided to hang out with her anyway. I had already lost her as a friend, so what else did I have to lose? As weird as it is, things between us weren't weird at all. We went to our school's cafeteria and hung out for an hour, talking Fall Out Boy (which is cool because none of my other friends really understand them like Lauren does) and life over Chinese food. It was super fun, and we are probably going to hang out again soon, which I am really excited about.

Who says that second chances don't work? Definitely not me.

 

Lauren and I last year.

Let the Countdowns Begin...

13 days until the Pierce the Veil, All-Time Low, You Me At Six, and Mayday Parade concert

15 days until exams are over

28 days until the Fall Out Boy Concert

and 56 more days until I board the plane for camp

DJ Slingshot

Last weekend, all of my friends and I went to go support my friend Erich (DJ Slingshot), while he DJ-ed. Due to a large throng of sorority girls, he didn't win, but we all had fun anyway. Here are some of our pictures.

                                                (Danielle, my roommate, and I)













(From Left: Dan, Danielle, me, Erich, Shrillz, Christie, Maddie)

(Me and Erich/DJ Slingshot) 

Camp Questions

A few days ago, while going through my camp's (I guess that I can call it that now, since I've decided for sure that I'm going there) Facebook page, I found a counselor that goes to my college. Most of them come from Pennsylvania, Arizona, Michigan, or different parts of Europe, so it was nice to find someone from my area.

I messaged him, and we met at Starbucks. Beforehand, I was completely freaked out, since his profile was very nondescript, but he was a cool guy. Props to everyone who can online date/ go on blind dates, it is scary as hell. We ended up talking for three hours, and he answered every question that I had and then some that I hadn't even thought of before. It was great.

Knife Party

This blog post is a little different that what I usually discuss on here, but it is something that i feel needs to be said, so here it is. Sometimes, I come to the realization that I am extremely naive. Last night was one of those nights.

A lot has been on my mind lately, so I decided to walk around my college's downtown area (if you can even really call it that because it's so small). After an excessive amount of cat-calls and creepy comments, I decided to call it a night and head back to my residence hall.

I walk alone a lot at night, usually because I like to leave parties early. When I tell people this, they say something along the lines of "you shouldn't do that, you're asking for trouble/that's really dangerous". However, when a guy walks alone, he is generally not bothered (at least not to the extent that women are). I understand that the world is not perfect, and there isn't really a whole lot I can do to remedy this situation, minus locking myself in my room at 7pm.

Here's what really grinds my gears though. Recently, I acquired a knife that I carry around with me in my pocket when I walk around alone at night in order to defend myself, due to all of my nightwalks. Keep in mind that lots of guys carry knives, even during the day, and no one says a whole lot about that. But when I mention this to anyone, I swear this is what they see

No. No. No no no no no. Definitely not. I am not going to turn into a slasher/murderer just because I have a weapon. I am then asked why I don't just carry around pepper spray or a rape whistle. Maybe because sprays have a tendency to go bad and not work, and how is a whistle (if you can even muster up the breath to blow it) going to help, especially if you are in an out-of-the-way area? I mean, come on, how many rapes/killings/muggings happen in an area where a rape whistle would actually be beneficial? Very very few.

A knife, however, is easy to grab, and is useful in most situations. Also, the attacker will most likely be caught off-guard by the fact that a woman is wielding a knife, giving her an advantage. Who wouldn't want those odds?

Sexism is still alive and well. I would like to be as well. Oh, and this happened, which was pretty awesome. Gotta love people who appreciate self-preservation.

Camp Choices

Over the past week or so, I have narrowed my camp options down to two choices, a camp close to my hometown and my dream camp located near the east coast. I was leaning super heavily towards the one on the east coast because they would be letting me work with the arts and hopefully with teen girls, while the other camp would have me taking photos (which I am not very skilled at and don't really want to do).

I was all for choosing my dream camp until they said that I couldn't leave one or two days early (in case I am hired on as a resident adviser). Thankfully, after I gave up that job, the art director called me and said that she would rather have someone like me on staff and have me leave a few days early, aka I am free to choose once again!

Life is swell!

Thailand 2

     About a week ago, I wrote about the opportunity that I received to go to Thailand and help out with learning camps. The guy who asked me about it never e-mailed me back, and I was starting to think that he never would.

Then today when I was eating lunch with Dan (we are now on civil, friend terms), this vaguely familiar looking guy comes up to me and asks me if I remember him. I say that I do, because saying no to that question is never a smart idea. Then he starts introducing me to all of these Thai people and talking about camps and it clicked.

So basically, the guy is still completely on board to go through with this, and also told the Thai people that I am "amazing" and "will go places", which was super flattering.

I hope that all of your days were this awesome!

In-Class Friends

I don't know about you, but as I have mentioned millions of times throughout this blog, my classes are pretty painful this semester. However, something that I have noticed about the classes that I do like is that I usually have a few "in-class friends". These people, while not part of my inner circle of friends that I hang out with on a consistent basis, are always really fun, and definitely make my classes worth going to. In college, it is easier than ever to make friends. Every class is full of new people with varying interests and personalities.

Some of my best friends get confused as to how I talk to so many people in my classes. Here are a few ways to start the first conversations.

• Ask for notes, a pen, note cards, etc.- If this isn't done incessantly, it can actually strengthen a relationship which might not have been there previously. According to some study that I read a while ago, relationships are strengthened when someone asks someone else for a favor.
• Compliment them- Who doesn't like being complimented? It gives me a positive opinion on a person if they say something nice about me. 
• O3- Ostracization of Other- This way is will may not be the nicest, and can often backfire. This method basically consists of insulting either someone else in your class or the professor. Gossip bonds people together, especially if the other two methods have failed. If this is a little too harsh for you, you can reverse it by instead saying something nice about a third party.  
  

Having in-class friends, besides making classes a lot more interesting, can also be really useful. If you happen to be feeling under the weather, an in-class friend can be the easiest way to catch up. It's also fun if they are part of your major. None of my best friends are as into literature as me, but a lot of my in-class friends are.

Twitter Crushes

My college has this super cool Twitter thing where people can call out their crushes, and I may have received a shout out on it. Life is swell.

Thailand and Things

Last weekend, my future educators learning community held huge conference at my college. During this conference, a ton of people from my learning community were given the chance to give presentations on their ideas for education reform, teaching tactics, and basically anything dealing with schools and how people learn.

Due to my extreme love for camp and angst towards my parents (for not being as supportive of my camps dilemmas as I would like them to be, as whiny as that sounds), I presented on how skills that I gained as a camp counselor have translated into the classrooms that I have assisted in. It went super well.

At the end, this professor guy who had watched my presentation raised his hand. I was super intimidated, since he previous questions had been a little lofty and difficult for me to understand.

"So, I am taking students to Thailand next December during winter break to look at, and hopefully participate in learning camps. Would you like to help me with that and be one of the students who goes on it?"

How many words are there for yes?

Apparently, this was the first time he had brought up this idea, which makes the fact that I was asked even more fantastic! I could not be more excited! Dreams really do come true, fill in this paragraph with more cliches about how awesome life is.

Also, my campus apparently had its unofficial campuswide Nerd Weekend. We had Animarathon, Quidditch, and LARPing out and about, as well as our zombie nerfgun wars.

(Tommy and I with someone dressed up for Animarathon)

My Attraction Theory (Three COMM classes and Suddenly I'm an Expert)

I would like to propose a theory on how to attract males (I am going to say males because that's how I roll, but feel free to fill in if females are your thing).

Don't want a relationship. Don't want involvement from the opposite/same sex. Or, at least tell yourself that enough times until you believe it.

Apparently, it's that simple. Or at least, it is for me. Over the past two days, I have had about four guys either hit on me or tell me they like me, which is crazy (I swear, I am not that cool.). For various reasons and gut feelings, all of these men have been or will be turned down. But, why do they like me?

The answer is not a complicated one. Because I am not into them and because I am awesome. Since I am not into them, I can say whatever I feel like saying without caring all that much about what they think. When I am with Henry, I feel the need to watch myself, and make sure that every single move I make is "cool" enough. With these other guys, I already feel good enough, which gives me room to just be myself, whoever that is. Also, I am the best of both worlds; I like someone enough to appear committed (people are often attracted to people in relationships because they are unattainable and more at ease with themselves), but in reality, I am still single.

I cannot really be in a relationship right now. Spring semester of college is almost over, and I am hopefully heading over to the east coast to work at camp this summer. I also need to work out my love affair with drama that I discussed in my previous post before I can navigate a relationship.







Disclaimer: I would just like to say that I know that this post sounds super cocky, and it totally is, sorry. This does not happen to me on a regular basis, and I am still kind of amazed by it. Also, I am super flattered by all of the guys, and am doing my best to not lead them on, because that would be super super mean.

Caffeine and Things like That

It is now 1:00am, which is most certainly past my bedtime. Still wired. Still so so wired.
Probably should not have drank much that much caffeine.
Two large mugfuls is apparently one large mugful too many.
I don't know why, but tonight I'll be writing in lines.
Henry and Matt accompanied me on tonight's adventures
a pool game that took too long to win to the sound of Matt
playing piano. An adventure
which included an extreme round of hide-and-go-seek/try
not to get mugged in my case (sexism at its finest).
We stopped by an over a store apartment and did over a store apartment things
Shapie-ing Henry's head, sitting on bean bag's, and reading
a book entitled How to Talk to Girls written by an eight year
old.
A horse mask fell into the mixing pot somewhere towards the end.
Walking walking walking back and stairs and high fives and scratched promises
to hang out and bad lines written about those scratched promises and
the excessive use of the word and.
Stream of conscious writing is a terrible idea, you should try
it sometime. Just break up the lines and pretend
that it looks deep. Yeah. Yeah Yeah yeah.. I need
to fall out of love with drama and stories. And leave Henry alone.
And find motivation.

Even Especially if you suck, writing everything you think as you think it is really entertaining. Try it sometime, it can't be as terrible as what you just read.

@4#*$!

As many of my friends will tell you, I love profanity. I curse like a sailor. In fact, pirates have nothing on me. Here's the reason, I genuinely love cursing. As an English major, I am in a constant love affair with words, from poetry and 'high-brow" literature to dialects and made-up words (aka real words that Webster hasn't approved of yet, such as puddlejumpers (rain boots).

A lot of people tell me that using profanity makes me sound ignorant and tacky. Maybe it does. Whatever. I am capable of employing scholarly diction alongside the educated individuals of modern day civilization/society. It's not difficult to crack open a thesaurus. However, it takes a true word lover to pull off cussing.

My favorite word in the English language is the F-bomb. (Unfortunately, I gave up all of these words as a part of Lent, a religious custom that I celebrate, so I will only be alluding to them in this post) It can be used as any part of speech, the best a word chameleon. Amazing. ****ing amzing. Everything sounds more powerful with a nice F bomb in front of it.  And sometimes, when you stub your toe or spill coffee on your laptop (like I just did), a perfectly uttered/scoffed piece of profanity can be a beautiful thing. Deep down, I truly believe that swearing upon one of these instances can decrease the pain of the event.

Basically, as long as you use these words in their proper context (i.e. not in front of an employer or young child), and not to hurt anyone else, I say, go for it (Unless, of course, someone really screws you over. In that case, release the cursing kraken!).

Thankfully, at the end of March, I will once again regain my ability to use the amazing words as often as I please and the situation will allow.

Have a *$&#@ awesome day!

Burned Out: It gets you down, we've all been there sometimes, but tonight, I'll make you feel beautiful once again

     Everyone (or at least most people) feels burned out at some point in their lives. I have been through this multiple times during various points in my life. Now is definitely one of those times. Dictionary.com defines burned out as exhausted or made listless through overwork, stress, or intemperance. 

It's easy to feel listless, restless, and useless. It'd be all too easy to lay on my couch (to climb onto my bed would require motivation), skip all of my classes, and binge on ice cream and candy. I have definitely debated doing that.

However, I have found that there are benefits to burn out, if one manipulates it correctly. As you guys have noticed by the extensive quantity of poetry review posts, I have been exploring my interest in modern poetry, from Andrea Gibson to "children's" poems to anything that catches my eye. I have also agreed to participate in more things that are outside of my comfort zone (raves, coffee, all-nighters, etc.)

Burn out is a fantastic reason to look into other hobbies. In order to not go completely crazy from stress (my tenth interview of the semester is next week, along with classes, and other stressors), I realized that I have to pick up other hobbies. 

Can't think of something to be interested in? Look around, check your Pinterest boards, ask your friends, or look up a list of hobbies, attach them to a dartboard, and then try the interest that you hit. Go with someone to an out-of-your-regular-routine activity. The possibilities are endless.

Crazy, right? Who knew there was a bonus to burn out?

So, next time you sigh the exasperated-burn-out sigh (you know the one),  just know that you are not alone, and might, in fact, be about to acquire a new interest.

Happy Soul Searching! 

 

So, Camp...

After interviewing with the art director of my first choice camp, I received a phone call today.

I ended up talking with one of the people I interviewed with, who started off the conversation by saying "Unfortunately... you're going to have to turn down all of your other camp job offers, because we really want you!"

Life is a swell, swell place. Everything is excellent and nothing hurts. Except for the fact that my parents want me to stay close to my hometown (ew). But whatever, still awesome!

So this makes two job offers. Although it's going to be difficult to choose, I feel so blessed/lucky to have such amazing choices.